Broken

Somehow it happens long before I realize it.

When I realize it, it’s like a slap in the face. WAKE UP! Something is broken. The symptom that always seems to evidence itself the most boldly is music. When something is wrong, the music stops. The funny thing is, when the music stops, something usually goes wrong. I’m never really sure which happens first.

My music is my voice – all those things I would say, but can’t express any other way. When my voice feels silenced, the music stops. When the music stops, my voice falls silent. I find that often it’s when I have the most to say that am stricken mute. Sometimes I stop listening to myself. Sometimes others stop hearing. Sometimes I/we/they aren’t even willing to try to hear.

Run away. Run. Cover your ears. Don’t hear. That is your choice. Don’t hear. Don’t grow.

For my part, I’m no longer willing to be silent. I will speak. I will sing. I will be heard. I will no longer allow myself to be broken because of your brokenness. I will no longer cover my own mouth to spare whatever you are protecting. I will speak. I will be heard. I will be whole. Be broken if you choose to, but it is so much more freeing to open the heart and no longer hide. It is so much healthier to speak – respectfully, lovingly, honestly – sharing our hearts with one another.

Let your music flow. I am desperate to make music. I am desperate to remove the gag from my mouth and the chains from my feet. I am desperate to sing and dance.

Who or what have you silenced yourself for? Will you take the stand to sing and be heard? Will you dance with me?

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