“We all come with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.”
Sometimes, while you’re unpacking, as you’re attempting to open the bag with the greatest of care, it suddenly bursts open without warning and spews its contents all over the one you’re unpacking with. Sometimes, unpacking is messy and dangerous and there are injuries.
Sometimes I am the one. Sometimes it’s my fault. Sometimes my baggage explodes, no matter how carefully I try to open up, and it causes me to hurt those I love most. When that happens, because of who I am, my shame at the knowledge of the pain I caused eats at me. More than the pain of what I’ve lost – the trust of a loved one – I spend a sleepless night aching for the hurt I caused in one I love.
There are days like today when I am desperate to take back the words or actions that betrayed that trust. I’m desperate to cram it all back in that bag and pretend it didn’t just fill someone I love with emotional shrapnel – barbs that shot out in an explosion of emotion that caught us both off guard.
Today, I am desperate to unbreak trust.
There’s no use wishing we could undo the past. There are always lessons to be learned. There will always be baggage to unpack. There’s always a risk when we unpack, but the danger of leaving it all packed and unaddressed is far greater. Keeping all of that crammed in tighter and tighter only hurts everyone. Finding someone who loves you enough to help you unpack is critical. Finding someone who loves you enough to let you help them unpack is priceless. Both take a willingness to be vulnerable and an understanding that there will be painful moments. Both take TRUST. Do we trust each other enough? Do we love enough? If we do, we can heal, and, in the end, be even better together after the wounds are healed and once the unpacking is done.